The Problem with Tiles….
My husband recently rang me after running some errands with our son. He was very frazzled and needed some calming down. Our darling ASDer had tested his limits in the shopping centre walking in strange patterns and running into people. My husband was carrying the groceries and couldn't quite keep up and got very annoyed at our child's lack of direction or walking in a straight line. Or looking up for that matter.
I talked him through it (my husband has PSTD, so things like this can set him off) and agreed that D was a monster to take on errands and that he was ok at being frustrated at the whole experience.
After that event, I visited the same shopping centre and found myself looking at the ground. I asked my husband who was with me if D had been walking like this and proceeded to walk in diagonal lines seeming haphazard but actually in a set pattern. My husband watched me and said yes that was exactly what he had been doing. I pointed out the different coloured tiles on the ground and the pattern that they were laid out in. They were small black criss-cross lines against the white and made for the perfect 'road' to follow. Many people pass through places like a shopping centre or walkways and never notice the delicate differences that are put into these places to help beautify them. My son had not only taken note but probably thought it was a mission or secret trail he was to follow.
It is in this moment that my husband and I were reminded of the different ways our son views the world - not better, definitely not worse, but just different. He saw a line to follow, a direction that he understood and for all the annoyance and worry that he would knock someone over, who are we to get angry when he is only following his version of the 'yellow brick road'.
I get frustrated sometimes at shopping centres for not thinking of more people with ASD or OCD who can not cope with what most neurotypical people see as 'just tiles'. They don't take into account the different ways that people view the world and what that difference could mean to them. For my son, it was a path to follow but for someone else, it could be a line that can't be crossed. It could be an uneven number that means a symbol of doom or frustration at not being even.
Look around and look at the difference and remember that we all see the world differently and not all of us can ignore a secret mission in the making.
I talked him through it (my husband has PSTD, so things like this can set him off) and agreed that D was a monster to take on errands and that he was ok at being frustrated at the whole experience.
After that event, I visited the same shopping centre and found myself looking at the ground. I asked my husband who was with me if D had been walking like this and proceeded to walk in diagonal lines seeming haphazard but actually in a set pattern. My husband watched me and said yes that was exactly what he had been doing. I pointed out the different coloured tiles on the ground and the pattern that they were laid out in. They were small black criss-cross lines against the white and made for the perfect 'road' to follow. Many people pass through places like a shopping centre or walkways and never notice the delicate differences that are put into these places to help beautify them. My son had not only taken note but probably thought it was a mission or secret trail he was to follow.
It is in this moment that my husband and I were reminded of the different ways our son views the world - not better, definitely not worse, but just different. He saw a line to follow, a direction that he understood and for all the annoyance and worry that he would knock someone over, who are we to get angry when he is only following his version of the 'yellow brick road'.
I get frustrated sometimes at shopping centres for not thinking of more people with ASD or OCD who can not cope with what most neurotypical people see as 'just tiles'. They don't take into account the different ways that people view the world and what that difference could mean to them. For my son, it was a path to follow but for someone else, it could be a line that can't be crossed. It could be an uneven number that means a symbol of doom or frustration at not being even.
Look around and look at the difference and remember that we all see the world differently and not all of us can ignore a secret mission in the making.
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