The art of the RSVP...

I have recently been to a string of birthday parties for my son and even though I don't know anyone I'm a firm believer it's not about me it's about him and the birthday boy or girl. 
So even though I was a Nancy nobody and suffered mild panic attacks I pick myself up and go. Luckily they are at public play centers so I found myself ok to sit with a coffee and phone and wait for conversation to come my way. 

Boy was I glad I took my gem as it turned out he was the only kid from his class at one party and one of three at the other two. Not that the birthday kid was fussed as they were surrounded by family and running wild with my son but it was still disappointing to see the lack of effort put in from other mums of day care friends. After some friendly conversation towards the end I was profusely thanked and told that we were the only ones who RSVP. So not only were there limited numbers but the poor party planners were left in a bind still not sure how many were going to show up. 

I encountered the same problem for gem's  birthday and over catered food for fear of under catering it. I am so lucky to still have a solid mothers groups because without them and the guaranteed 8 kids my son would have only had two friends at his birthday lunch. And with no family it's makes me sad to think that he might have felt a little lonely. I know he has a good group of friends at day care, I've met the boys and seen photo proof they are all buds- so why the no show?

It's not the no we can't come that's the issue in the end- if you can't make a party or have reservations because you don't know anyone- I get that- it's the lack of letting the party host KNOW you are coming. 

So this got me thinking WHY?? 

I thought perhaps the fear of confrontation- well trust me when I say the host would rather a no than a no response. 

You don't want people to have your phone number- you could call and make it private but I'm guessing that's too intimidating so can I suggest a note in their school bag or pigeon hole? Or ask their teacher to pass it on. 

No matter which way you approach it please help bring back the art of the RSVP- it's important, helpful and the very best of manners. 

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